There is a big difference between a materialist view of life and a self-realized view of life.
A self-realized view of life involves the perception that you are WILLING your reality into existence, and you always have been. And all those years of doing so without knowing it have provided lots of good material to learn from, to analyze and thus understand that you created it all - through your attention and desires and fears.
Eventually, the unpleasantness that resulted from dwelling on and subsequently creating what you DO NOT WANT leads to your asking, seeking, and clarifying.
Demand a better existence.
Use the fuel from your desperation to power your seeking.
There is tremendous power in desperation...