Last fall, I read two books in succession: The Power Of Now(Tolle) and Ask And It Is Given(Hicks).
Upon finishing the second, I noted the following:
"The last two books I've read have left me in a different state. I am returning to the present consistently now, and I'm noticing my emotions all the time.
"I'm not allowing myself to remain in a bad mood or a low vibration. I find that in order to improve a bad mood I must return to the present moment, and let the present moment and surroundings flood my awareness.
"When I'm in a good mood, I can easily visualize things/events that I desire, enjoying the perspective that it brings.
"I acknowledge that my attention, my mood, has been more flexible. I am able to return to a peaceful state quickly most of the time. Perhaps I have steered myself up the emotional scale enough times to know the way.
"I noted recently that it is MUCH easier to slide down into a bad mood than it is to climb up to a good one. And I contemplated why that is, what that means, and how it relates to spiritual evolution and expanding awareness.
"Why are we so fascinated with negative emotions that we allow ourselves to dwell on thoughts which make us unhappy? Bad moods can go on for a LONG time. Good ones seem so short-lived.
"Maybe it's because so many of our choices are not what we want. Maybe we consistently put ourselves in places we don't really want to be.
"Since our circumstances often seem unavoidable (meaning we choose them because we think we have no other choice), we spend a lot of our time thinking about commitments and circumstances that we don't like or want."
In re-reading the above passage, I am reminded of the "one step forward, two steps back" aspect of widening our awareness. I periodically arrive at a stretch of time during which I am riding high, feeling like I have cleared a hurdle of some sort and can see things clearly. And then, inevitably, a day or a week later, I'm back in the thick of things and feeling sorry for myself because I lost that "loving feeling" and life seems more weeds than flowers.
So I have found it helpful to re-read thoughts such as these. It's reassuring to see, in retrospect, the up and down cycle that searching and examining entails. As I continue moving forward, I am attempting to integrate the ups and downs, to iron out some of the creases.
If so, perhaps I will succeed in tempering the "low" spots with the remembrance of the "high" spots just around the corner.
And oh, how I LOVE those high spots...