If you associate your anger with an element outside of yourself, you will direct your anger toward that element, thus giving it power (energy/attention).
The same is true for all emotions.
As young ones, we learn to associate our anger with elements outside ourselves. We learn this by watching our parents and other caretakers do the same. And thus the connection is formed: I am angry, and my anger is being caused by this or that, and if I express that anger, I get a reaction from someone or something. And the reaction we get (often from a parent or sibling) reinforces the perception that the source of our anger is outside of us, and is causing our anger.
That association sticks around for a LONG time. And it is very hard to break. Most people, even now, believe that it is elements outside themselves that bring them to anger. Or sadness. Or joy, even.
So if this is not actually the case, as I seem to be implying, what is the cause of your anger, your sadness, your joy?
The answer is very simple: Your emotions come from WITHIN you. They are a signal, a communication, letting you know how aligned or misaligned you are with your essence, your soul, who you really are.
Now, for this explanation to make any sense, one must acknowledge that there is a larger identity for each of us, one not limited to time or space, or to this temporary identity that each of us is currently exploring.
The premise is this: YOU are actually a soul, creating an incredibly complex and seamless experience of being a physical human being in a physical world. And so that you would not lose yourself completely in this temporary exploration, you have chosen to incorporate emotions.
These emotions let you know when the human part of you is perceiving in a way that is aligned with how your soul feels, and when it is not.
When you feel negative emotion, whichever name you give it, you are perceiving in a way that is out of alignment with how your soul perceives. You are expressing beliefs that run contrary to what you value as a soul. You are out of alignment. It is a type of feedback, intended to keep you roughly on track, and to let you know when you are straying away from who you really are.
In contrast to this are your positive emotions, and these are letting you know that you are aligned with your soul, and you are currently perceiving in a way that is closely aligned with how you as a soul are perceiving. Joy is an indication of alignment. That's why it feels good! Your soul is saying to you , "Yes! THIS is who you are! Keep doing THIS! Keep perceiving THIS way!"
Now, obviously those "experts" on the brain and the body will tell you that there are brain processes that are responsible for your emotions, but they are only looking at the physical translation of the experience. The body is intended to translate, physically, what you are experiencing in your mind and your spirit. So the experts are looking at the effect, the translation, and thinking that they are looking at the cause. No offense to you scientists and doctors, but there is a bigger picture! A MUCH bigger picture. And the incredible variety and intensity of our emotions are pointing to a bigger picture.
The grief we feel at the loss of a loved one is pointing to a bigger picture.
The love we feel, the joy we experience from time to time is pointing to a bigger picture.
Your emotions are your guidance, so use them!